Start close to the issue
For most problems, the fastest fix is the person or office directly involved: the instructor for a grading question or a classroom issue, the department chair if that does not resolve it, the office manager for a service failure, your supervisor for a workplace concern, the residence hall director for a housing problem. Put it in writing, be specific about what happened and what outcome you want, and give a reasonable chance to respond. A large share of concerns end here, and formal processes generally expect you to have tried this first — except where safety, discrimination, or retaliation is involved, where you can go straight to the relevant office.
The formal routes, by issue
Each type of concern has its own published procedure and its own office: a grade dispute → the grade-appeal process (instructor, then chair, then a college committee, on a deadline); academic-integrity allegation → the academic-integrity process; student behavior → student conduct via the Dean of Students; discrimination or harassment based on a protected class → the Office of Equity & Access; sexual or gender-based misconduct → the Title IX office or a confidential advocate; a disability accommodation not honored or an access barrier → Accessibility Services; a bias incident → bias response; a billing or financial-aid problem → the one-stop student-accounts office, then a financial-aid appeal; a research-misconduct or compliance concern → the research integrity officer; a public-records or data question → the records custodian; an employee matter → HR. Using the wrong door is the top reason a legitimate concern stalls.
Confidential and neutral help
If you do not know which process fits, or you want to think through options before starting anything, the Student Ombuds (for students) and the ombuds for employees are neutral, informal, confidential, and independent — they do not take sides, keep records that become evidence, or launch investigations. They can explain every route, help you write an effective complaint, facilitate a conversation, and refer you onward. Confidential advocates and the counseling center are also non-reporting for personal support.
When not to wait
An emergency, an immediate threat to someone's safety, or a hate crime in progress goes to 911 and Campus Safety now — not through any administrative process. A concern that a student or colleague is in distress or acting in a worrying way goes to the CARE / behavioral-concern referral, which brings support rather than discipline. Retaliation for raising any concern is itself a violation and is reported the same way as the underlying issue.
Questions?
See the full staff & office directory for any phone number or email. Because this is a fictional parody site, addresses and phone numbers are illustrative and do not reach a real university.