Counseling
Short-term counseling, groups, crisis consultation and referrals support students navigating academic, personal and relationship concerns.
Health care
Appointments, wellness education, immunization guidance and prevention services are available through the fictional campus clinic.
Privacy and urgent care
Care is private within applicable rules. For a real emergency, call 911 or your local emergency service.
What is available on campus
Short-term counseling, drop-in crisis consultation, group programs and referrals to community providers for longer-term care, plus a campus clinic for routine appointments, immunisation guidance and wellness education. Care is confidential within the limits the law sets.
When it is urgent
For a real emergency, call 911 or go to the Valley Health emergency department in Porter Falls. The 24-hour student support line at (715) 555–0117 connects to a counselor any time the counseling office is closed.
In and around Porter Falls
Support at Porter is deliberately clustered on the first two levels of Halvorsen Library so a student can move from an advising conversation to a tutor to a writing consultant without leaving the building or re-explaining the situation. Walk-in hours run late Monday through Thursday during the semester, and everything can also be booked through MyPorter.
The practical details
Counseling: Short-term individual, groups, crisis consultation. Health: Appointments, immunizations, prevention, referrals. After hours: 24/7 support line at (715) 555–0117. These specifics can shift from term to term, so confirm anything time-sensitive — a deadline, an appointment, an eligibility rule — before you count on it.
If you have a question
This is handled by Student Success Center (Halvorsen Library, Level 1). Call (715) 555-0170 or email success@uwporterfalls.edu during the fall and spring terms, or use MyPorter to send a message or book a time. If another office turns out to own the question, they will pass it along rather than send you back to the beginning.
Fictional information
UW–Porter Falls is a work of parody. Every office, person, building, phone number and statistic on this page is invented; nothing here describes a real institution or a service you can actually contact.