Using one
An AED talks the user through every step, will only deliver a shock if the rhythm actually needs one, and cannot hurt a person who doesn't need it. The instruction on the case is: send someone to call 911, start compressions, and turn the AED on — it does the rest.
Coverage goal
Placement targets a three-minute round trip from anywhere a crowd gathers — classrooms, gyms, the union, the residence halls. Campus Safety runs free hands-only CPR and AED sessions monthly for anyone who wants the confidence before the moment.
In and around Porter Falls
Porter Campus Safety operates from the ground level of Millwright Hall around the clock during the semester and coordinates with the Porter Falls Police and Fire departments, whose stations are both within a mile of campus. For a real emergency the number is 911.
The practical details
Locations: Every academic building lobby, all athletic facilities, the residence hall front desks, and every Campus Safety vehicle. Checked: Monthly by Campus Safety; a failed self-test pages a technician. Map: On the campus map's safety layer. Anything time-sensitive — an accommodation, a booking, a deadline — is worth confirming directly before you rely on it, because the specifics here can change from term to term.
If you have a question
The office behind this is Porter Campus Safety (Millwright Hall, ground level). Call (715) 555–0191 or email safety@uwporterfalls.edu during the fall and spring terms, or sign in to MyPorter to send a message or book a time. If it turns out another office owns the question, they will route it rather than send you back to the start.
Fictional information
UW–Porter Falls is a work of parody. Every office, person, building, phone number and statistic on this page is invented; nothing here describes a real institution or a service you can actually contact.