Why it matters
Campus Safety and the Porter Falls Police recover bikes regularly and can almost never return them, because there's no record of who owns which. A registered bike's serial number is in a database the moment it's recovered.
Also useful
The registration record is exactly what a renter's or homeowner's insurance claim and a police report both ask for, and it takes about two minutes to create.
In and around Porter Falls
Porter Campus Safety operates from the ground level of Millwright Hall around the clock during the semester and coordinates with the Porter Falls Police and Fire departments, whose stations are both within a mile of campus. For a real emergency the number is 911.
The practical details
Where: Online through Campus Safety, or in person at their Millwright Hall office. Cost: Free. What you get: A tamper-resistant tag and a record linking the serial number to you. Anything time-sensitive — an accommodation, a booking, a deadline — is worth confirming directly before you rely on it, because the specifics here can change from term to term.
If you have a question
The office behind this is Porter Campus Safety (Millwright Hall, ground level). Call (715) 555–0191 or email safety@uwporterfalls.edu during the fall and spring terms, or sign in to MyPorter to send a message or book a time. If it turns out another office owns the question, they will route it rather than send you back to the start.
Fictional information
UW–Porter Falls is a work of parody. Every office, person, building, phone number and statistic on this page is invented; nothing here describes a real institution or a service you can actually contact.