Who they are and what they cover
Fictional Porter Campus Safety is staffed 24 hours a day, every day, with licensed officers who have the same authority as any municipal department on university property plus a broader safety-services role — they respond to emergencies, patrol on foot, bike, and vehicle, run the emergency notification system, and coordinate with Porter Falls police and fire for anything that crosses the campus line. Call 911 first for any emergency; call Campus Safety at (715) 555–0191 for non-emergencies, or after 911 so they can meet responders and guide them on campus. There is a business office for records, permits, and questions, plus blue-light emergency phones across campus that connect straight to dispatch when pressed.
Free services worth using
Safe walk / safe ride: any hour, an officer or trained student escort will walk you or drive you between campus points and nearby off-campus housing — use it, that is what it is for. Building and residence security assessments; personal-safety and active-threat education sessions for a class, floor, or organization; bike and laptop registration so a recovered item can be returned to you; vacation-home checks for residence hall rooms and nearby houses over break; lost and found; vehicle assists (jump-start, unlock, air); and stock naloxone and AED training. Most can be requested online in a couple of minutes.
Reporting
Report a crime, a suspicious person, or a safety hazard by phone, at the business office, through the online reporting form for non-emergencies, or anonymously through the tip line and the mobile safety app. For a concern about a person who is struggling or acting in a way that worries you but is not a crime, use the behavioral-concern / CARE referral, which routes to a support team rather than an enforcement response. Reports of sexual or gender-based misconduct can go to Campus Safety, the Title IX office, or a confidential advocate — you choose, and choosing the advocate first keeps your options open. You can report something that happened elsewhere or a while ago; they will help you find the right agency if it is not theirs.
Transparency and the data
A daily crime and fire log is public at the business office and online, listing the nature, date, location, and disposition of each reported incident. The Annual Security and Fire Safety Report — published every year and required by federal law — compiles three years of campus crime statistics, the university's policies on alcohol, drugs, weapons, and sexual misconduct, emergency and evacuation procedures, and prevention programming; anyone can request a paper copy for free. Timely-warning and emergency notifications go out through Porter Alert when there is a serious ongoing threat.
Questions?
See the full staff & office directory for any phone number or email. Because this is a fictional parody site, addresses and phone numbers are illustrative and do not reach a real university.