What the plan requires
Each lab keeps a current chemical inventory, stores incompatibles apart, labels every container (including working solutions), and has safety data sheets reachable in seconds. Standard operating procedures are written for particularly hazardous substances before anyone uses them. Fume hoods are certified on a schedule and not used as storage.
Waste and emergencies
Hazardous waste is collected in labelled, compatible containers and picked up by EH&S on a regular route — nothing hazardous goes down a drain or into the regular trash. Every lab has a spill kit sized to its largest likely spill; a spill beyond that, or any release with injury or vapour, is a call to Campus Safety, not a clean-up-and-carry-on.
In and around Porter Falls
Porter Campus Safety operates from the ground level of Millwright Hall around the clock during the semester and coordinates with the Porter Falls Police and Fire departments, whose stations are both within a mile of campus. For a real emergency the number is 911.
The practical details
Owner: Environmental Health & Safety, with a chemical hygiene officer. Applies to: Every lab that uses hazardous chemicals, teaching and research alike. Core documents: The written plan, an inventory per lab, and accessible safety data sheets. Anything time-sensitive — an accommodation, a booking, a deadline — is worth confirming directly before you rely on it, because the specifics here can change from term to term.
If you have a question
The office behind this is Porter Campus Safety (Millwright Hall, ground level). Call (715) 555–0191 or email safety@uwporterfalls.edu during the fall and spring terms, or sign in to MyPorter to send a message or book a time. If it turns out another office owns the question, they will route it rather than send you back to the start.
Fictional information
UW–Porter Falls is a work of parody. Every office, person, building, phone number and statistic on this page is invented; nothing here describes a real institution or a service you can actually contact.