About the event
The regatta is the Wednesday event of Millrace Week and, in only its second year, the one people ask about most. Teams of two to four build a boat from corrugated cardboard and duct tape, carry it to the pool deck and paddle it two lengths of the 25-yard pool. Last year eleven boats started and two finished. The committee would like the number to go up but is not counting on it.
The rules are short. Cardboard and duct tape only: no wood, no plastic sheeting, no foam, no hot glue, no paint that seals the hull. Every paddler wears a life jacket supplied by the pool. Paddles may be made of cardboard or borrowed from the rec center’s kayak program. A boat that sinks is towed out by lifeguards so the next heat can start.
Schedule
| Time | What | Where |
|---|---|---|
| 5:00 p.m. | Pool closes to lap swim | Forge Recreation Center |
| 5:00–5:40 p.m. | Boat check-in and materials inspection | East doors, pool deck |
| 5:45 p.m. | Captains’ meeting | Pool deck, shallow end |
| 6:00 p.m. | First heat (three boats per heat) | Pool |
| About 7:30 p.m. | Final, then awards: Fastest Hull, Best Design, and the Heritage Hall Radiator Award for the most dramatic sinking | Pool deck |
| 8:30 p.m. | Pool reopens to lap swim | Forge Recreation Center |
Location and access
The pool is on the lower level of the Forge Recreation Center. The rest of the building keeps its normal Wednesday hours (see campus hours), and spectators sit on the pool-deck bleachers, which hold about 220. The deck is step-free from the east doors, and there is space for wheelchairs at the end of the front row. Street shoes are fine in the bleachers, but not on the wet deck.
Tickets and registration
Watching is free, with no ticket. To race, a team captain registers the team in MyPorter under Millrace Week by noon on Monday, October 12. At check-in each team receives two rolls of duct tape. You bring the cardboard, and appliance boxes from the Founders Union loading dock are fair game after 3 p.m. on Tuesday.
Contact and related events
The regatta is run by the student Millrace Week committee with the rec center’s aquatics staff. Next on the week’s calendar are the Foundry pour on Thursday and the Ring of Iron and pep rally on Friday.
Fictional information
UW–Porter Falls is a work of parody. This regatta, its rules, its awards and its sinking statistics are invented. No pool is reserved, and please do not test a cardboard boat in any real body of water.