Valley Health Porter Falls Clinic
Valley Health Porter Falls Clinic (120 Mill Street, two blocks from campus) is the town’s primary care hub: family medicine, internal medicine, pediatrics, and a rotating roster of visiting specialists (cardiology, orthopedics, endocrinology). It’s also the clinical training site for the College of Health Sciences’ nursing, PA, and med-tech students — so appointments may include a supervised learner. Hours: Mon–Fri 7 a.m.–7 p.m., Sat 8 a.m.–12 p.m. Same-day acute slots open at 7 a.m. online; they fill by 8:30. Walk-ins accepted but expect a 60–90 minute wait. The clinic bills insurance directly; uninsured patients use a sliding-fee scale (bring proof of income).
Campus health and counseling
The Student Health Center (Founders Hall 110) handles acute illness, STI testing, contraception, immunizations, and travel consults — no charge for enrolled students (fees covered by the student health fee). Open Mon–Fri 8 a.m.–5 p.m., walk-in triage 8–10 a.m. Counseling Services (same building, second floor) offers 10 free individual sessions per academic year, unlimited group therapy, crisis walk-ins (Mon–Fri 1–3 p.m.), and a 24/7 crisis line (715-555-0199). They coordinate with Valley Health for medication management. The Porter Cares office can help navigate insurance gaps and connect students to community therapists who offer sliding-scale rates.
Pharmacies and urgent care
Millrace Pharmacy (inside Valley Health clinic) fills prescriptions, stocks OTC basics, and does flu/COVID shots walk-in. Free delivery to campus dorms and major off-campus complexes (order by 2 p.m., delivered by 5 p.m.). Porter Falls Urgent Care (Highway 12 at the north edge of town) handles sprains, stitches, X-rays, and occupational-health physicals — open daily 8 a.m.–8 p.m., no appointment needed. Wait times posted on their website. For anything chest-pain, stroke-symptom, or trauma-related, call 911; the ambulance goes straight to Lake City Medical Center.
Dental, vision, and specialists
Porter Falls Dental (downtown, above Depot Dry Goods) takes Delta Dental, UW student plan, and Medicaid; evening appointments one Wednesday a month. Riverbend Vision (next to Millrace Pharmacy) does exams, contacts, and frames — student discount 15% on frames with ID. Specialists (derm, ENT, PT, OB/GYN) visit Valley Health monthly; the clinic’s referral coordinator schedules and sends records. For ongoing specialty care, most students drive to Lake City (40 min) or the Cities (75 min) where networks are deeper.
Lake City Medical Center (nearest hospital)
Lake City Medical Center (40 minutes east on US-12) is the regional Level II trauma center, OB/nicu, cardiac cath lab, and the only MRI within 60 miles. The regional coach stops at the Welcome Center and runs to the hospital campus (3x daily weekdays, 2x weekends). If you have a chronic condition requiring regular specialist visits, establish care in Lake City before the semester starts — the Valley Health referral coordinator can send records ahead. Emergency ambulance from Porter Falls averages 35 minutes door-to-ER.
Insurance, costs, and access
The university-sponsored student health plan (administered by Wesconsin Student Insurance) covers Valley Health, Student Health Center, Counseling, and Lake City in-network. Dependents can be added. The international student plan is mandatory unless you prove equivalent coverage. Uninsured? The Porter Cares case managers help apply for BadgerCare (Wesconsin Medicaid) or the hospital’s financial-assistance program. Prescription assistance: Millrace Pharmacy runs a medication access program for high-cost maintenance drugs (insulin, inhalers, biologics) — bring your prescription and insurance denial letter.
Fictional information
UW–Porter Falls is a work of parody. The clinics, providers, prices, and services described here are invented for this fictional university and town. No real medical facilities or providers are depicted.