The 2026–27 roster
Rosters are current as of October 9, 2026 and are updated by Athletic Communications after each roster change. (C) marks a team captain. Hometowns are in Wesconsin unless marked †. Majors are the student’s declared program of record in MyPorter, which, for first-years, is subject to change and frequently does.
| Name | Yr. | Hometown | Major |
|---|---|---|---|
| Jordyn Schmitz (C) | Jr. | Stonecut | Psychology |
| Wren Vetter | Jr. | Westvale | Marketing & Digital Communication |
| Kiara Brooks | So. | Pinecrest Mills | Dietetics |
| Carly Gilbertson | So. | Tamarack Junction | Business Administration |
| Grace Tveit (C) | So. | Elk Prairie | Dietetics |
| Sierra Dahlberg | Fy. | Harlan Ridge † | Marketing & Digital Communication |
| Greta Kavanagh | Fy. | Cedar Bluff | Biology |
| Sierra Schroeder | Fy. | Millbrook Corners | Computer Engineering |
Coaching and support staff
Golf practice and coaching happen at the Porter Falls Municipal Course; leave messages for the coach at the Fieldhouse number. Full contact details are in the athletics staff directory.
| Name | Role | At Porter |
|---|---|---|
| Gary Lindahl | Head coach, men’s and women’s golf (part time; teaching professional, Porter Falls Municipal Course) | Part time |
| Doug Prahl | Volunteer assistant | 2nd season |
| Mai Xiong | Athletic trainer (volleyball, softball, golf) | Sports medicine staff |
| Darnell Ochs | Director of Strength and Conditioning (all programs) | Department staff |
| Simone Achterberg | Academic Advisor in Athletics | Department staff |
Roster notes
- Captains. Junior Jordyn Schmitz, the program’s first individual conference medalist (even par over 36 holes, in cold rain, as a sophomore), and sophomore Grace Tveit, who finished in the top ten at the conference championship as a first-year and represents the team on SAAC.
- No seniors. The roster is two juniors, three sophomores and three first-years, which is why the coaches keep saying “2027.” The program was added in 2018 and placed third at the conference meet last season, its best finish.
- Team GPA. 3.44.
Following the team
The fall segment ended in early October; the spring segment runs April through May, and that schedule posts in January (see the winter schedule page). Home events are at the Porter Falls Municipal Course, a ten-minute shuttle from campus; spectators walk free and are asked to stay off the greens.
Fictional information
UW–Porter Falls is a work of parody. Every athlete on this women’s golf roster is invented — names, numbers, hometowns, heights, class years and majors — as are the coaches and staff; no real student-athlete is listed or described, and the roster belongs to no real team.