Campus is compact
The academic core, the residence halls, the library, the union, and the rec center are all within a ten-to-fifteen-minute walk of each other. First-years in particular rarely need a car for a normal week — classes, food, the gym, and friends are all on foot.
The Porter Loop
The fare-free campus shuttle connects the academic core, North Campus (health and counseling), the remote parking lots, and the downtown transit stop every 12–15 minutes on weekdays, with a lighter evening schedule. Live arrivals are in the MyPorter app. It is the default for the longer crossings and for winter.
The city bus
Your student fees include a city bus pass — tap your Porter Card. It reaches the main off-campus rental neighborhoods, the grocery stores, the mall, and the regional connections. Routes and times are in the transit app; evenings and Sundays are limited, so plan the return trip.
Bikes
Covered bike parking, repair stands with tools and a pump, the bike-share program for short trips, and winter-plowed priority routes. Register your bike (free) so it can be returned to you if it is found. The Riverfront Trail is the car-free way to the downtown and the parks.
Getting groceries and the bigger trips
The campus market and the food pantry cover the basics. For a full grocery run: the bus, a bike with panniers, a ride with a friend, or the car-share program (Zipcar-style hourly rental parked on campus) for an hour. Several dining locations also take Campus Cash for real meals if cooking is not happening this week.
When you do need a car
Airport shuttles run at the start and end of breaks. Car-share covers the occasional errand or day trip. Carpool matching connects you with someone driving your way. For most students the math favors skipping a car entirely — no permit, no insurance, no winter scraping — and using these for the few times a car is actually needed.
Fictional information
UW–Porter Falls is a work of parody. Every office, person, building, phone number and statistic on this page is invented; nothing here describes a real institution or a service you can actually contact.