Porter Loop: the electric shuttle
The Porter Loop is a fare-free, all-electric circulator (4 Proterra ZX5 buses, 12-min peak headway, 20-min off-peak). Route: Founders Hall → 3rd & College → Mill & 5th → Depot District → Cedar Bluff North → Osteria Lucia → Ridge Road → back to Founders Hall. Stops (14): All have real-time arrival signs (solar-powered, GTFS-RT), benches, lighting, bike racks. Schedule: Mon–Fri 6:30 a.m.–10 p.m., Sat 8 a.m.–8 p.m., Sun 9 a.m.–6 p.m. (reduced breaks). Ridership: 1,800 boardings/day (2024), 65% students, 20% staff/faculty, 15% community. Accessibility: Level boarding, audio/visual announcements, wheelchair securement (2 per bus), priority seating. Bike integration: Front-mounted racks (2 bikes/bus), Bike-to-Campus program gives free U-lock + lights with registration.
Night Loop & Safe Ride
Night Loop (Thu–Sat, 10 p.m.–2 a.m.): 2 buses, 20-min headway, extended route adding major off-campus complexes (Founders Row, Millrace Lofts, Bluffview Commons, Bluffview Heights, Depot Flats). Safe Ride Vouchers (from Porter Cares): $15 Uber/Lyft credit, 5/semester per student, no questions asked — for destinations outside Night Loop route or when Loop isn’t running. Designated Driver Punch Card: 5 DD rides to/from Depot District/Cedar Bluff = free non-alcoholic flight at Millrace Brewing or Founders Fermentation. Safety Escort + Shuttle combo: Escort walks you to Night Loop stop, meets you at drop-off, walks you to door (call 715-555-0188).
Regional coach to Lake City
Lake City Connector (contracted to Jefferson Lines): 3x daily weekdays, 2x weekends, 40 min to Lake City Medical Center / regional airport. Stops: Welcome Center (Depot District), Porter Valley Bank (Cedar Bluff), Highway 12 Park & Ride (Lot R). Fare: Free with UW–Porter Falls ID; $8 general public. Connections at Lake City: Amtrak (Empire Builder, daily), Jefferson Lines (to Cities, Madison, Green Bay), Lake City Transit (local bus), rental cars (Enterprise, Hertz). Schedule reliability: 92% on-time (2024); real-time tracking via transit.uwporterfalls.edu. Winter ops: Coach runs in all conditions; if WisDOT closes US-12, university arranges charter van for essential clinical rotations.
Biking: infrastructure & programs
Network: 12 miles of bike lanes (College Ave, Main St., Mill St., University Ave., Riverfront Trail), 3 miles of protected lanes (College Ave: Founders Hall to Depot, installed 2023), 3.2 miles Riverfront Trail (shared-use, plowed winter). Bike-to-Campus Program: Free U-lock (Kryptonite Evolution), USB-rechargeable light set, registration (theft recovery), maintenance workshops (Tuesdays 4 p.m., Makerspace bike repair station). Porter Pedal (Mill St., town bike shop): student discount 10% repairs/rentals, fat-tire rental (winter), gravel bike rental (summer), community tool bench (Tue 6–8 p.m.). Bike parking: 400+ racks (campus), 50 covered (Founders Hall, Library, Forge), 20 indoor (Residence halls, keycard). E-bike library: 10 Class 1 e-bikes (Gazelle, 40-mi range), 24-hr checkout (portal reservation), $5/day students, $10 faculty/staff. Safety: Helmet voucher ($20 off, Campus Safety), Bike Light Giveaway (fall, 500 sets/year).
Parking strategy
Philosophy: Manage demand, not supply — 65% of students don’t bring a car first two years. Permit zones: Zone C (Campus core, commuter lots C1–C4, $180/semester), Zone T (Triangle residential, $25/yr city), Zone R (Residence halls, included in housing), Zone V (Visitor, 2-hr free, then $2/hr). Commuter lots: C1 (behind Founders Hall, 300 spaces, shuttle to campus), C2 (Millrace Lofts, 150), C3 (Bluffview Commons, 200), C4 (Depot Flats, 100). Dynamic pricing: Event days (football, commencement) +50% at C1/C2, revenue to Student Government Sustainability Fund. Carpool: 3+ occupants = free preferred parking (Lot C1A, 20 spaces), app-verified (Waze Carpool). EV charging: 24 Level 2 ports (C1: 8, C2: 4, C3: 4, C4: 2, Library: 2, Forge: 2, Welcome Center: 4), $0.12/kWh (student), $0.18 public.
EV charging network
Campus (24 ports): All Level 2 (6.6 kW), ChargePoint network, app/portal payment. Town (18 ports): Welcome Center (4), Porter Valley Bank (4), Porter County Co-op (2), Cedar Bluff Bakery (2), Mabel’s Bakery (2), Depot Pizza (2), Riverside Park (2). Fast charging: None in town; nearest DCFC (Electrify America, 150 kW) at Lake City Travel Plaza (35 min via US-12). Pricing: Students $0.12/kWh (subsidized), Faculty/Staff $0.15, Public $0.18. Idle fees: $0.50/min after 15-min grace (enforced 8 a.m.–8 p.m.). Fleet: 60% of Facilities vehicles electric (4 buses, 12 trucks, 8 sedans), target 100% by 2028. Data: Real-time availability on transportation.uwporterfalls.edu/ev; 2024 utilization 68% (campus), 42% (town).
Fictional information
UW–Porter Falls is a work of parody. The transportation systems, costs, and infrastructure described here are invented for this fictional university and town. No real transit systems are depicted.