You have options, and you choose
If you have experienced sexual assault, harassment, relationship violence, or stalking, you decide what happens next. You can get support and supportive measures — changes to your class schedule, housing, campus job, or a no-contact directive — without filing a formal complaint or naming anyone. You can talk things through confidentially before deciding anything. Nothing here obligates you to a process you do not want.
Confidential help
Confidential advocates and the counseling center can hear what happened, explain every option, and help you get medical care and preserve evidence — without triggering a university investigation. This is different from reporting to the Title IX Coordinator or most staff, who are required to pass a report along. If you are not sure what you want, start with a confidential advocate. Off-campus and available 24/7: the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline (call 1-800-656-4673 or chat online) and the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233).
Making a report
Reports can be made to the Title IX Coordinator online, by phone, or in person, by you or by someone acting on your behalf. The coordinator will reach out, explain supportive measures and the formal and informal resolution options, and honor your wishes about whether to investigate except in rare cases involving a serious ongoing threat. Immediate danger should always go to 911 first. You can also report to university police for a criminal process, pursue the university process, both, or neither.
The process, if you choose it
A formal complaint leads to an equitable process: written notice of the allegations, an equal chance for both parties to present information and identify witnesses, an advisor of your choice, a decision by a trained, impartial decision-maker under a stated standard of evidence, and the right to appeal. Timelines are published. Retaliation against anyone who reports or participates is itself a violation and is taken seriously.
Privacy
Information is shared only with the people who need it to provide support or run a process. Your name is not published. Accommodations can be arranged so that the other party does not know who requested a schedule or housing change unless a formal process makes it unavoidable.
Questions?
See the full staff & office directory for any phone number or email. Because this is a fictional parody site, addresses and phone numbers are illustrative and do not reach a real university.