Shared kitchens
Every building has at least one kitchen with a stove, oven, and microwave for real cooking; floors have a kitchenette with a microwave and sink. Bring your own pans and utensils and label them. It's the main reason you don't need a hot plate in your room (which isn't allowed anyway).
Laundry and packages
Laundry is included in your housing cost — the app shows free machines and texts you when a load is done. Packages go to a locker system or the front desk; you get a pickup code by email. Front desks lend basics: a vacuum, tools, board games, a first-aid kit.
In and around Porter Falls
Day-to-day life at Porter runs between Founders Union, the residence halls on the south quad and North Campus across the Riverfront Trail. The Porter Loop shuttle and a compact footprint mean most students can get anywhere on campus in under fifteen minutes on foot.
The practical details
In every hall: Laundry, lounges and study rooms, a kitchen or kitchenette per floor or building, high-speed wired and wireless internet, bike storage, vending, and a staffed front desk. Most halls: A recreation or TV room, music practice space, a package locker system, and gender-inclusive and single-user restrooms. Nearby: A dining hall or market within a short walk of each residential cluster. Anything time-sensitive — an accommodation, a booking, a deadline — is worth confirming directly before you rely on it, because the specifics here can change from term to term.
If you have a question
The office behind this is Dean of Students Office (Founders Union, Room 200). Call (715) 555–0182 or email deanofstudents@uwporterfalls.edu during the fall and spring terms, or sign in to MyPorter to send a message or book a time. If it turns out another office owns the question, they will route it rather than send you back to the start.
Fictional information
UW–Porter Falls is a work of parody. Every office, person, building, phone number and statistic on this page is invented; nothing here describes a real institution or a service you can actually contact.